That quiet girl that sits in the front of
the class and barely participates in discussion or group activities might not
be as shy as she appears, but suffers from over-active-sarcasm and lives in
constant fear that she will offend someone when she opens her mouth. The
possibility that her humor won’t be funny to classmates or professors causes
her to glance downward as she stifles a giggle in the middle of a lecture,
making her appear extremely reserved. The fact that not everybody understands
sarcasm suggests a boundary that separates those who understand sarcasm and
those who do not. Scrolling through articles, Psychology Today, study
after study, research paper after research paper, I found to my dismay many
negative articles on my favorite form of communication, sarcasm. My defense
mode kicked in, motivating me to write this. I wondered is sarcasm all bad?
Next, I grabbed “The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm” by James Napoli, Executive
Vice President of the National Sarcasm Society (yes, there is a sarcasm
society). This is a guide for all your sarcastic needs; as Napoli states on the
back cover, “not that you give a crap” (Napoli). Upon reading this, I felt
reassured that sarcasm is humorous—but what exactly is sarcasm? Sarcasm exists
strongly in the English language, making a mark in our daily conversations;
creating series of sitcoms, stand-up comedy, and humor columns in the New
Yorker; establishing forums on the internet, memes on Facebook, and hashtags on
Twitter—almost creating an entirely new language. Yet, not a universal one. So
why is sarcasm difficult to understand and why does it have such a bad rap?
The word sarcasm comes from the Greek word
sarkezein which literally translates as “to tear flesh” (“Sarcasm”). When
we are sarcastic, we are not literally tearing the recipient’s flesh, yet like
sarcasm itself, metaphorically, in many ways we are. The snarling comments
often injure one like tearing of flesh. “Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words will never hurt me,” is a false adage indicating that words have no
effect on us at all. This simply is not true. Based on the way in which our
self-esteem levels fluctuate depending on approval from others, we depend on words
to communicate the things that encourage us, help us differentiate right from
wrong, and criticize us. Sarcasm is a statement of one positive meant to mean a
negative opposite. Sarcasm sometimes forms as criticism or a compliment. Pazzanese,
a Harvard staff writer, suggested that the “mental gymnastics” involved in the
interpretation of sarcasm leads smart-alecks to believe they are intellectually
better than the straight-forward. I myself have come to use the term sarcasm
generously to refer to all inappropriate humor.
In my opinion, there is a difference
between saying something cruel or cynical and laughing about it, and using
abstract communication to express one thing by saying another. The line is
blurred between sarcasm and passive aggression, between sarcasm and
facetiousness. Sarcasm is a type of both, but in its purest self it is not
either of these. It’s easier to examine what sarcasm is not, to better understand what sarcasm is. My friend recently started talking to a guy that asked for her
number at her work. Naturally, my first question is: “When’s the wedding?” I
say this to see her squirm uncomfortably. I’m pointing to an arbitrary concept
that isn’t realistic—they aren’t getting married anytime soon, the idea of
engagement isn’t in the picture. Its humor and we can laugh about it. I know
exactly how that feels—its patronizing, but it’s funny. Plenty of people ask my
boyfriend and I, “Am I invited to the wedding?” insinuating and pressuring us
into uncomfortable rebuttals and lame come backs. But there is a line. Some
people truly are hurtful when it comes to communicating their feelings about my
relationship and they defend it by saying they were being ‘sarcastic’ or ‘facetious’.
It’s exhausting and the humor is lost. “Did you get permission to go to the
rodeo this weekend?” my boyfriend’s guy friend nudges him, speaking loud enough
for me to hear. The message I get is that I’m controlling. I’m the stereotype
of the manipulative, bossy significant other, a stereotype I resent. So what is
the difference
between the sarcastic and the facetious?
http://sarcasmsociety.com/
The
Latin inscribed beneath the society’s tile translates to “This was a waste of
time”—and I couldn’t agree more after I made the effort of creating a new tab
and typing it into Google translate.
Facetious originated from the Latin word facetus,
meaning witty (“Facetious”). Merriam Webster says the word is “used to describe
speech that is meant to be funny but that is usually regarded as annoying,
silly, or not proper” (“Facetious”). Sarcasm is defined as “the use of words
that mean the opposite of what you want to say, especially in order to insult
someone, to show irritation or to be funny” (“Sarcasm”). The confusion between
these two has resulted in the broadening of the usage of the word sarcasm. We
generalize it and overuse. We think all inappropriate humor is sarcastic. We define
personalities by either being sarcastic or not having a sense of humor, as if it’s
one or the other. Sarcasm navigates deeper than surface level humor in our
psychology; it functions as our coping mechanisms, sometimes through passive
aggression. In some ways I even confuse sarcasm with inside jokes. I always
thought that sarcasm was a sort of specialized, unique form of expressing
information that only few people will get. But that is the exact definition of
an inside joke: “a joke that is understood only by people with special
knowledge about something” (“Inside joke”). The differences between these types
of humor is crucial in understanding the uniqueness of sarcasm.
The negative aspects of sarcasm are
abundant, especially psychologically. Have you ever had a compliment about your
outfit in the form of a snide comment, leaving you wondering if it was actually
a compliment or a form of subtle bullying? Sarcasm can leave people immune to
compliments, making them think that when someone says something nice, it’s a
joke. When someone is rude, they laugh it off, because that too might be
sarcasm, but how can they truly ever know? “You can’t take a joke anymore,” my friend
said. To which I wanted to respond, “I can’t take your passive-aggression
anymore.” Our relationship is summarized by snide quips and mean remarks,
accentuated with a laugh and smirk. You have to be thick skinned to hang out
with us, but why? Why must we poke at each other, especially when it isn’t
funny anymore? The not-so subtle counterparts are the passive-aggression that
blare through the sarcastic comments. Criticism tries to hide in sarcasm, but
it is difficult for it to squeeze its big furry butt behind the narrow tree of
humor.
At times we hide behind sarcasm to
insinuate things of deeper and problematic meaning. Instead of
straightforwardly saying that we don’t like something the other person did,
maybe it was something they said or did to us, maybe they forgot to take out
the trash after repeated requests or called you that name you specifically told
them not to call you. I am not a white girl, I swear—as I order my Venti
Extra Whip Strawberry Vanilla Frappuccino.
Once, my boyfriend wore a hideous striped
sweater that he simply could not pull off. The whole night, through drinks,
dinner and the movie after, I made backhanded remarks about how I was sure
Steve from Blue’s Clues was missing his sweater. I held my hand up to the side
of my face in the shape of a phone, “Bill Cosby called; he wants his shirt
back.” I thought it was subtle, but based on the glares I got it was not. Later
he asked, “Seriously, is this sweater that bad?”
“No,” I said. “No, not at all. No.
Of course not. It’s great. It’s great!”
“One more ‘great’ and I’ll believe
you,” he said.
“It’s great,” I said smiling. “How’d
you find Sheldon Cooper’s wardrobe?”
Okay,
that last one was a stretch—I mean, Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory wears some
pretty strange shirts right? This is a mild example of criticism in the form of
sarcasm, so we’ll take it a step further. However, the only sarcastic comment
in this exchange was when I said, “It’s great.” Because I truly meant the
opposite.
A problem I have encountered personally as
a result of sarcasm is the inability to communicate effectively because
sometimes people don’t know if I actually mean the opposite of what I’m saying.
How can this be resolved? I’ve been so wounded that somebody compliments me and
I take it the wrong way, I take it as the opposite. Being able to understand
sarcasm and see the possible opposite of every statement comes with problems.
“You clean up good!” a well-meaning
husband says to his wife.
“What is that supposed to mean?” she
retorts.
The compliment turns offensive when she
assumes he means she doesn’t always look good, that it is only at this point in
time that she has achieved beauty. Then why is sarcasm so fun?
“Sarcasm
is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence,” stated Oscar
Wilde (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky). A well-known quote by a well-known
author. Science suggests that this is
true. “The prefrontal lobe is known to be involved in pragmatic language
processes and complex social cognition. The ventromedial section is linked to
personality and social behavior” (Adam).
Any
sort of loss in these areas makes it impossible for a person to understand and
interpret irony and sarcasm. “First
the language center in the brain's left hemisphere interprets the literal
meaning of words. Next, the frontal lobes and right hemisphere process the
speaker's intention and check for contradictions between the literal meaning
and the social and emotional context. Finally, the right ventromedial prefrontal
cortex—our sarcasm meter—makes a decision based on our social and emotional
knowledge of the situation” (Adam). Irony is a major component to sarcasm, a
term that we often heard in our high school English class regarding the short
story we read. I usually thought it referred to something that wasn’t logical,
yet it is the statement of one thing to mean the opposite. Now, the amount of
effort it takes to follow this sort of communication makes it easy to see why
some people won’t be able to understand it.
According to a study, “both sarcasm
expressers and recipients reported more conflict but also demonstrated enhanced
creativity” (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky) Sure, sarcasm stipulates plenty of
problems: passive-aggression, criticism. But where is everybody’s sense of
humor? The study by Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School, Adam Galinsky, Professor
of Business at Columbia Business School, and Li Huang of INSEAD, the European
business school examines this. They state that sarcasm “can facilitate
creativity by increasing abstract thinking” (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky).
Attending a Liberal Arts college, abstract thinking is the premise of the
curriculum. I value this. Sarcasm as a method of communication leads to
potential problems: misunderstanding, confusion, and hurt feelings. Yet, even
in the workplace, sarcasm can be beneficial when mutual trust exists between
the two parties. The expresser of sarcasm views it as “more amusing and less
aggressive” than the recipient (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky). The same goes for
the observer. It makes sense that the recipient, at whose expense the joke is
directed, perceives more aggression. Sarcasm functions at the expense of the
recipient who in turn experiences and benefits from no form of creativity, like
the observer and expresser. However, the true humor and fun in sarcasm is the
ability to respond, quickly and ingeniously, firing back a response. I enjoy
people who not only understand sarcasm, but effectively show their wit by
responding with sarcasm. An exchange like this can happen spontaneously, say on
a plane, two strangers joking at the expense of the flight crew, sharing an
instant mutual trust that did not exist before.
A key factor in successful sarcasm for
communication is interpersonal trust. “That helps reduce the relational cost of
sarcasm for both parties but still allow organizations to take advantage of its
creative benefits” (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky). “A literal positive meaning to
communicate a negative message” (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky). A boss says to an
employee sitting lazily at his desk, “Don’t work too hard!” (Huang, Gino, and
Galinsky) Literally, it is a kind message from the boss warning the worker not
to strain himself. Sarcastically, it is a snide way to tell the employee that
he needs to pick up the pace. The verbal irony of sarcasm relies on pitch
inversion, utterance elongation, and nasalization (Krueger). Is the boss
sincerely concerned the worker will put in so much effort that he will pass out
from exertion, or is he criticizing how little energy and enthusiasm he sees
from the employee? Context and tone of voice makes this clearer, but how many
ways could this be misinterpreted?
Sending sarcasm through written word such
as email is rarely effective unless the recipient reads the message in their
head exactly how you would have said it. This is problematic. One cannot know
for sure how something will be interpreted—tone is a major component in
sarcasm. A How I Met Your Mother episode showed this. It’s Halloween,
Robin is dating a new guy. Over email she in her mind, jokingly said they
should dress up as Hansel and Gretel. A knock at the door revealed a Hansel in
full costume; Robin was going as herself.
“Where is your costume, Gretel?”
he asks.
“You thought I was—oh, I was just
kidding. I gotta stop making jokes in emails. It’s so hard to convey tone,”
Robin said.
Robin stated that they should dress up for
Halloween, but meaning the opposite. We need a font for sarcasm. The phrase
“good one” is an interchangeable term of endearment or criticism. Someone makes
a half-court basketball shot and a buddy high fives him saying, “Good one!” My
friend cracks a joke and I roll my eyes saying, “Good one..” What’s the
difference between these two? Context and tone. I can almost bet that you read
the latter with a scoffing tone with the voice residing in your head.
From an outsider’s point of view, my
discussions with friends, especially my roommate, may sound cruel and mean,
rather unnecessary. But that is how our relationships function, how we keep
conversations lighthearted, and crack a smile when it seems impossible. Gino
states, “To create or decode sarcasm, both the expressers and recipients of
sarcasm need to overcome the contradiction between the literal and actual
meanings of the sarcastic expressions. This is a process that activates and is
facilitated by abstraction, which in turn promotes creative thinking,”
(Pazzanese). Sarcasm requires a sort of “mental gymnastics,” a factor that
makes it more fun and entertaining (Pazzanese).
The concept that sarcasm requires creative
and abstract thinking, shows how complex it is—especially used through written
word. The internet has captured a form of humor that is not quite sarcasm, but humor
that requires a sort of previous shared knowledge. The internet increased accessibility
to many things, but the aspect that is not accessible to everyone is the
understanding of the humor discourse. This humor has resulted in an internet
sensation of memes. From football players being ridiculed, actors being quoted
out of context to criticizing presidential candidates, we use these memes,
sometimes in the form of moving GIFs to entertain and express ourselves.
Matthew McConaughey’s phrase “Alright, alright, alright” circulates the
internet. One Tumblr user commented on the phenomenon of internet humor. The
user under the name of marelie states, “I really love our generation’s joke
trend of like, very calm but incredibly inflated hyperbole. Like nobody says
“oh she’s pretty” anymore we say “I would willingly let her murder me” and everyone
is just like “lol same” (Marelie). The language used on the internet is unique
and continually evolving. The way we communicate has become more concise and
efficient. She continues. “I think “same” is also great and “me,” I love when
somebody reblogs a picture of like, a lizard, and just says “me” and we all
know exactly what they mean. The current online Humor Discourse is remarkable
because we trade exclusively in metaphors and implications and nobody ever,
ever says anything outright and yet everybody understands each other
perfectly” (Marelie). A one word statement is enough to establish meaning,
proving how much understanding and “mental gymnastics” we use in order to
create humor (Pazzanese).
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ba/59/b0/ba59b0d93647e40e66d25576d65fcc69.jpg
The many layers behind
this meme require prior knowledge of McConaughey’s Lincoln car
commercial—satirized by Ellen Degeneres—and knowledge of the origin of his
catch phrase “Alright, alright, alright”—the movie “Dazed and Confused.” But
this is a characteristic of an inside joke—not sarcasm.
Pondering why we use sarcasm, I examined
my own life and the instances that sarcasm is most prevalent. It’s a coping
mechanism. It is a way for me to express my thoughts inadvertently. It’s a
method for my brain to process complicated, uncomfortable things in a humorous
way. It’s the comic relief to my life. Last
night my friend said, “Now I have to live at home with my parents.” My roommate
says, “Who wouldn’t want to do that!” And in that moment I realized what
sarcasm really is. Because I can literally think of many people who would not
want to live with their parents. Sarcasm happened so rarely that the entire
night we were simply being facetious—making inappropriate jokes, insulting jabs,
and sexual innuendos. And that’s when my appreciation for sarcasm spiked. Crafting
sarcasm, one must be analytical, one must say the opposite of what they mean in
a way that presents itself as humorous. Sarcasm requires a lot of thinking and
it’s only funny if the thinking is done rapidly. Interactions with sarcasm are
unique—there are drawbacks to it, evident in my life when I can’t seem to
handle my problems, much less a joke—but there are benefits that outweigh this
in a trusting environment. Sarcasm potentially tears relationships apart, but
it also does the opposite. So the quiet girl in the front of the class may be
more complicated than she looks, her mind races with sarcastic responses and
inappropriate jokes, her brain on overload at all times. That blank stare she
directs at the blackboard results from a numbing abundance of humor, sometimes
she’s facetious and she has her inside jokes, but sometimes, when she
formulates the perfect response, she is sarcastic. Sarcasm: the true art form
of humor.
Works Cited
Adam,
David. "Highest Functions of Brain Produce Lowest Form of Wit." The
Guardian. Guardian News and Media, 23 May 2005. Web. 09 Mar. 2016.
"Facetious."
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 17 Mar. 2016.
Huang,
Li, F. Gino, and Adam D. Galinsky. "The Highest Form of Intelligence:
Sarcasm Increases Creativity for Both Expressers and Recipients." Organizational
Behavior and Human Decision Processes 131 (2015): 162–177. Web. 17 Mar.
2016.
“Inside
joke.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 17 Mar. 2016.
Krueger,
Joachim. "Sarcasm Bites." Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers,
11
Apr. 2015. Web. 17 Mar. 2016.
Marelie.
"I really love our generation’s joke trend..." We are Born with
the Dead. 2015, Tumblr.
Napoli,
James. The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm: A Lexicon for Those of Us Who Are
Better and Smarter than the Rest of You. New York, NY: Sterling Innovation,
2010. Print.
Pazzanese,
Christina. "Go Ahead, Be Sarcastic." Harvard Gazette. The
President and Fellows of Harvard College, 24 July 2015. Web. 09. Mar. 2016.
"Sarcasm."
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 17 Mar. 2016.
